I was to delighted be in Paris last weekend, attending an afternoon of deep conversations and Q&A with one of my mentors, Kara Loewentheil who had flown over from the States. I'm currently mid way through her Socratic Coaching Certification (more on that another time), so it was a perfect opportunity to go over to Paris and say hello. And of course, who wouldn't want to be in Paris in early Spring?

To be honest, I was slightly nervous beforehand as I didn't know what to expect, but of course, the afternoon turned out to be fabulous. These things always do. It was very special to be at the iconic Ritz Hotel, together with 40 ladies who had come in from around the world. Quite a few lawyers and coaches and a number who were making pivots in their lives and careers. The conversations were flowing as fast as the tea and champagne! And for one who used to dislike the old style enforced hustle-y networking that we had to go to as lawyers, I was very pleased, and not at all surprised, that this event turned out to have an altogether more relaxed, classy and supportive feel.

The topics were rooted in women and confidence, considered through the lens of how women are largely conditioned by society to stay small and play small. And what we can do to change that. The conversations were conducted with an essence of kindness and curiosity, with the ladies generous and quick to celebrate each other, whilst listening carefully and sharing ideas and experiences. There was no 'edge' or boring monologues.

Three takeaways that I've brought back from the Paris salon for you:-

*You don't have to wait for permission or authorisation from others before you act.

*It's ok to displease people. This takes courage and there'll always be fear. Feeling afraid is a necessary part of being a human and you can't escape it. So, once you know that you'll feel scared (no matter what), then you can decide that you might as well do the big things (or else you'll end up with the same feeling of fear, but of taking much smaller risks instead).

*Many women are doing a great job, but they often work very hard very quietly, waiting for someone else to recognise and reward them. Instead, it's vital to own your success and communicate it well by raising your own visibility - to your boss for the bonus and pay rise, or out on your social media and marketing networks. I remember once being in a group interview and I shared a couple of great ideas round my table. When the interviewing panel reached our group, one bloke immediately shared my idea as his own. At the time, I didn't speak up, or even interrupt to take ownership of my idea. I was furious. I wouldn't allow that kind of behaviour now - I'd call him out straightaway, but back then I was younger and felt fury, but was unsure what to do! I know you'll have plenty of similar stories too. There's no shame or judgement, just decide to view them as interesting experiences illustrating how some choose to behave without integrity and how you'd now do things differently with the great gifts of time, wisdom, experience and confidence.

Fear and shame are a common thread of what can hold us back from doing what we actually dream of doing. We need to be able to give ourselves permission, so we can take the step and believe that we are safe to do so.

And so, on that note,here's a video that I recorded whilst in the Jardin des Tuileries last Saturday.

Don't put anything off. Life is too short. Be bold and have the fun.

Lindsay x

www.lindsaycressey.com